I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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