All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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