it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
