Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
did you just send me my own nude
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
