So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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