I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
