we're blogging at a bar
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
