You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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