I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
All the doctor said was why
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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