He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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