If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
do nipples grow back?
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