just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
