I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
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He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
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My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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