I puked a lego.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
