I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I stole a fireplace last night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
