If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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