That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
