i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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