so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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