New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
