I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
