The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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