I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
When are your genitals available?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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