I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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