woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This is classic penis vs brain.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
