My hand turned me down
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
