It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
