I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
