Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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