I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
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