Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Randomize
