Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
