What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
