like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
