If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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