i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
