im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
