Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am full of burrito and curiosity
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
