Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize