my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
