Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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