My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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