Don't make out with my wife yet
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
