I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize