UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
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You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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