You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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