I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
