My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize