That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
