Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
