Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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