Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You're like the curious george of whores
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
