Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
