yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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