maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
They have beer where we have blood.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize