Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
