yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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