is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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