I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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