I want to stick my p in your. b.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
What drink are we having for lunch?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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