singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She bit a glass in half.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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