I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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