Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
