Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
