I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
