How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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