i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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