Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize