id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
