Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
